Last night I was at my ex-girlfriend’s place. She’s 27 years old and looks like Maria Ozawa’s kid sister.
Only much hotter. We broke up because at 38 years of age I still can’t stop busting huge ejaculations… into other women! I blame it on the fact I manufacture the world’s best cum pills. The way I see it, man was put on this earth to procreate. Naturally, no man wants the actual responsibility of having 1,000s of children. Yet it’s our instinct to mark our territory – and we have fun doing it.
Considering I’m the creator of the “MoneyShot® lifestyle” my philosophy on sex should come as no surprise. Seriously, if I’m not out spreading the gospel about how to increase ejaculation volume with my 1200mg “ejaculatory explosives” then I’m out there spreading my seed like butter all over the faces of the gorgeous women who pass in-and-out of my life. It’s hard to keep a girlfriend unless she accepts my “religion” – or is actively bisexual.
But my ex and I are still the best of friends (with benefits). Which is why last night I was helping her write an online dating profile for match.com so she could get the biggest response from men possible. You see, she’s looking for someone to marry (as most women in their late 20s are) and I’m clearly not marriage material in her eyes! She wants a “nice guy” who will never cheat on her, hurt her…
…and is younger then 34!
“Say what???” Now I’d be lying if I said that when I saw her criteria I wasn’t just a little bit hurt. Just the week before my latest lover (she’s 30) had jested that I was “pushing 40″ and going to be old soon. To add insult to injury, just a week prior to that comment an acquaintance who had been all excited to arrange a marriage for me (which would require “trying out” an endless array of beautiful young Russian women) found out that I was 38 and told me “all bets were off.” In his eyes I was “too old.” I am sure the women would not have minded once they would have seen the loads I can shoot. Because I know how to increase cum better than anyone on this planet.
Too old for what? Anyway, seeing my ex’s profile on match.com was like the “3rd strike.” However as I am the umpire of my own life, instead of yelling “OUT!” I calmly remarked:
“Well I guess we would have never met on match! Thank god I picked you up at the bookstore!”
She threw her arms around me and exclaimed:
“Oh baby, you know you’re special! I’d marry you in a second if only you’d stop sleeping around.”
Now if you think that women in their mid-to-late 20s wouldn’t be very keen on dating (let alone marrying) a man who is “pushing 40,” you’d be 100% wrong. Two years ago when I turned 36 and started to get a little “silver” in my sideburns was when women really started to take interest in me like never before. I was actually thinking of coloring the silver color out until Tiffany Granath, host of Playboy Radio’s “Afternoon Advice” show told me not to do so under any circumstances as younger women love the salt-and-pepper look!
You see, women want to be a with a real man and they know that in today’s society we’re not really men until we get close to 40. Young guys simply don’t have a clue about how the world works, or how to navigate it. You also feel no need to increase cum – yet! Honestly, most of us are now man enough to admit that we were all dumbasses until around the age of 35. These days we recognize that we really “know stuff,” and have a helluva’ lot to offer the world – and any woman who lives in it.
Especially when it comes to sex! Young women recognize that only men past the age of 35 are present enough in their masculinity to be capable of bringing forth a woman’s femininity and satisfying it. I take great pleasure when the male friends of the younger women I sexually mentor discover my age and freak the fuck out. It’s even more enjoyable when one of these ladies leaves her boyfriend for me and they find out! They’re whining to their friends in confusion over brunch in some fagtastic Soho cafe, while at that very same moment on the other side of town their former girlfriend is on her knees taking deep throat lessons from me. Or on all fours training her ass to relax so as to discover the pleasures of anal sex.
It’s funny, because young guys simply don’t see a man over 35 as a sexual threat. They have this retarded idea that men over 35 are somehow incapable of being sexually powerful – yet I often hear from younger women that it’s the younger guys whose equipment isn’t working any more!
Yeah, my ex’s future husband is going to wonder where she got all those porn-star bedroom skills! I instructed her to fend off all inquiries by confessing she was addicted to watching porn back in college – back when she was a total nerd and nobody would date her. LOL!
My lifestyle is entirely possible due to the natural confidence that arises from being over 35 and simply “knowing the ropes” when it comes to life and having had experiences that younger folks haven’t. All men over 35 share this confidence by default, but it’s hard to feel it when you haven’t got some huge ejaculations in your arsenal because you’ve got balls that are “running on empty” like some Jackson Brown song. Often women will say silently: “Oh, I guess you aren’t that into me.” Others will feel like they aren’t doing a “good job.” Some will even think that you’re cheating on them! So there really is a need to increase cum.
But while none of those thoughts are good if you want a long-term relationship with a younger woman, there is still something else going on that they just can’t put their finger on…
Men over 35 have a lot more to offer women then a younger man, but it is hard for them to accept what you’ve got to offer if you don’t have a lot of life-affirming sperm to transmit it. What you need is sexual potency, and sexual potency is not a vi*gra-induced erection! It comes from cum pills! Pun intended! If a “stiff stick” was all a woman needed we would have been replaced by cucumbers a few centuries ago. Nope. What women need is an erection filled with energy – and this energy comes from the vibrations of millions of sperm cells. A woman can stick her sex toys in the microwave for as long as she wants in an attempt to warm them to life but her efforts will be useless! She needs that masculine heat whose source is deep within a man’s balls.
Why do you think some men are said to “have balls?” It’s all those little copies of himself bouncing around inside there that drive him to do “manly stuff” and be brave. He’s ready for glory. Without a ton of cum in your sack, of what use is Vi*gra? This is where semen volume pills cum in!
See, just like men were put on this earth to procreate, women were put on earth to collect the millions of sperm cells that we shoot out with each ejaculation. They want to feel your your wisdom-filled, masculine essence shoot off inside of them. They want to see it all over their bodies. Your cum contains the essence of who you are as a man. This is why women often buy my semen pills for their man. No matter what they say, they love your cum! This is why you need to know how to increase ejaculate if you want to remain virile in their eyes.
What MoneyShot® 1200mg Ejaculatory Explosives do is they give you confidence, every time you cum. Women pick up on this confidence immediately, and radiate it back to you – which amplifies your confidence even more. You then take this supercharged self-belief back into the world where it helps you to achieve your dreams. Your achievement attracts even more women, who want to assist you in taking your game to an even higher level. Seriously, have you ever noticed that when you’ve got a woman on your arms who totally loves you, other women constantly approach you? Why is that? Are all women just a bunch of “man stealers?”
Not at all. All women really want to do is surrender to the energy of a real man – to take in his masculine energy during sex and feed it right back to him through their heart while in an orgasmic state. They yearn to serve such a man and to assist him in becoming even more powerful. You could say that it’s natural sex magick, and where the expression “behind every successful man is a powerful woman” comes from. So, you can’ t really blame them: when they see another woman experiencing what they dream about all day, they can’t help themselves and make a pass at you!
But it’s hard to stay present in your masculinity or muster huge ejaculations when for the last 35 years you’ve been drinking water laced with fluoride and estrogen, eating food treated with pesiticides and living in an environment filled with endocrine disrupting chemicals. These things do nothing to increase cum, they can only reduce it.
You’ve just GOT to get this shit handled! Taking MoneyShot® 1200mg Ejaculatory Explosives every day just makes it all go away. Just look at semen pills as vitamins for your balls!
Check it, men are living longer-and-longer, and marrying younger-and-younger women. Many men have gone through divorces, and are trying to get back into society while having relationships with younger women. I mean, 60 is the new 40! We don’t want to fall to the side and play cards in park! But if you have pathetic sperm count levels what choice do you really have? It’s pretty tragic to have the opportunity to have your pick of your “dream girl” and then find out you’re “shooting blanks.” You have to know exactly how to increase cum.
I tell you, seducing younger women is easy. They love being seduced by older men! But what most of us men want is to keep them in our lives. A lot of us even want to marry them. Although 60% of marriages end in divorce and 90% of divorces are initiated by women, even I will probably want to get married one day.
But if you want women to take you seriously for the long haul, you can’t allow the environment to dry you up and take your balls away – along with your ability to enjoy your orgasms. You want to go back a little bit and do it like you used to. You know, you want it to feel normal again. I mean, it’s just basic math: if you triple your sperm production then your orgasm has to last three times as long to shoot out all of that cum! So there is no longer any reason to ask yourself how to increase ejaculate. The answer is MoneyShot® pills.
Turn your little dribbles into downpours, and watch your confidence grow exponentially every time you cum. Just like you need money to make money, you need a bottle of 1200mg Ejaculatory Explosives to get you back in the game. Instead of thinking, “Could I be too old?” you’ll be thinking, “I shoot bigger loads then most 20 year olds which is probably why I feel like I’m 20.”
Women will crave your cum inside of them. They’ll worship it, marvel at your virility. Secure in the knowledge that you are good for the long haul. When a woman feels secure, she opens up and fulfills all of your fantasies. She’ll dream about having your baby no matter your respective ages. She’ll wonder aloud to her friends why you’re so potent when men 10–20 years younger then you can just barely squeeze out a few drops.
You could say you’ll be giving young guys something to worry about!
Probably at least 70% of them need to take MoneyShot® to increase ejaculation volume anyway but are too embarrassed to say so. When I do conventions and trade shows I usually get a certain percentage of young men sneering “I don’t need that” or “I don’t have a problem with that.” It’s funny, because I didn’t ever ask them if they needed it! So believe me they do want to know how to increase ejaculate because deep down they know its important.
Sometimes, their girlfriends come back to the show the next day by themselves to “get some” from Jack Lawrence who is in his 40s. For real, they line up for him. Thanks to MoneyShot® cum pills he knows how to cum a lot at the end of a scene. On camera and off.
Do you think he feels like he is “losing his edge” or “left out?”
"So you know, your product helps kinda' regain that."
"Yeah, it’s the fun aspect of it, but I think it also – what it does is it like... I don’t know. It’s not the fountain of youth, so to speak, but it’s like as you get older and things start to – you know, you have to take a little more effort to do certain things and whether it’s sex or whether it's workin’ out, or whatever it may be. So you know, your product helps kinda' regain that."
"A guy like my age who probably was looking for the same thing when he created the product."
"Probably after looking at the website, probably a guy like my age who probably was looking for the same thing when he created the product. And I don’t necessarily know how you, you know, came to the conclusion to put X, Y, Z as the ingredients in the product, but I just figured it was a guy probably like me looking for something extra in his sex life, and that’s what they did. They got together and created a product for it. I gave actually some – a couple pills to my boss and then to my brother to try out. And, you know, they’re kinda' like me, like dirty like me too."