So I just saw the season finale of The Bachelorette and I think you can learn a lot from this show despite the fact most of it is fake as fuck.  There is this one scene in tonight’s 3 hour extravaganza, where one of the guys sends her home in the rain, but they are using a rain machine so rain is coming down on the dude, but not on Emily who walks away in dryness!  Unreal.  The host of this show looks like he is an android with zero capacity for feeling, and whenever Emily talks, he is never really listening as it is obvious that he is thinking about the little boy he is going to screw later in his Hollywood bungalow.

So Emily was in a well-scripted situation where she is in love with two guys (impossible) and has to pick one.  She claims both guys are equal in terms of their qualities and how she feels about them – yet she jilts the race car driver for some toolbox of a man.  She claims in the after-show that she “felt more secure” or some shit like that.  What really happened is this bitch was cruising for a guy who would be a father and a provider and not a lover.  The guy she picked is some dude who would go to work for her every day and take care of her daughter and blah, blah, blah…  The race car driver just doesn’t get it.  If a girl wants to marry you, you should be very offended because she is looking at you as a workhorse and a tool, and not as a lover and certainly not as a man.

Since the entire show is fake (you can tell by the way everybody kisses each other), you have to wonder who the hell really writes this stuff?  Because quite frankly, the ideas put forth in shows like this serve as subconscious instructional material for millions of young people.  What a fucked up world it’s going to be when everyone is running around with the worst sort of operating instructions for relationships.

But it is already this sort of world.

The other day there was this “Batman Killing” in Colorado which prompted all the numb-nuts to decry gun ownership (even though Colorado has strict gun laws) and that sort of thing.  But honestly, I can’t blame this kid for shooting up the theater even though it was really an epic fail to basically kill your fellow comic-book nerds.  Couldn’t this guy have gone to Goldman Sachs and mowed down everyone in the executive washroom or something?

But like I said, I can’t blame this kid and I will tell you why.  When I was a teenager in the 1980s, I had my angst and life was not exactly something beautiful.  But my generation still believed in love and wanted to hold up a boom box playing “In Your Eyes” outside of the window of some girl we were in love with, and we jerked off to Ginger Lynn or some shit.

Now today… nobody believes in love and everyone is fucking totally dead inside.  Romance has been replaced with throat-fucking and ass-2-mouth and god-knows-what.  I still remember when I started sleeping with younger chicks and they were all into this hard, Rocco-style sex.  I never saw that in girls of my generation, yet girls in my generation didn’t grow up masturbating to porn on the internet.  The internet didn’t even fucking exist.

So now imagine some kid like myself growing up in the 2010′s instead of the 1980′s.  The world is at least 10x as horrific and when I go to some counselor or shrink for help, instead of acknowledging how bad the world is, they say my problem is that I haven’t become a zombie like everyone else – so here are some SSRIs to make me into one!  Problem is, they don’t work.  They just make me crazier until one day I explode with violence and decided to burn this world to the ground as an artistic statement or something.

I say this because when I was a teenager we had guns in high school and nobody thought twice about it.  We had them for protection, and nobody ever shot up the fucking school because they were bullied.  So what changed?  SSRIs are one thing, but calling them the problem is not much better then saying guns are the problem.

The problem is the world has gotten a hell of a lot shittier in 30 years.

Happy Sunday night!