Nothing is known to improve semen like cranking some old-school metal music. I found this online last night. Check out these old cats rocking out like they were fucking 25. They rule!

I used to play drums, and when I see those monster floor toms mounted in the air on both sides of the drummer, my semen volume goes up to the sky! I would love to get on stage an play with these guys. I haven’t been on a kit in years, but I know I could bang this out with my eyes closed. Plus, I hit harder and with more passion and energy, and I have no problem keeping time.

Many amateur drummers have a time-keeping problem despite having amazing chops. It is easy for a passionate drummer to follow the guitarist’s vibe, but the guitarist is relying on the drummer to keep him in line, so the drummer has to be very controlled with his passions or else the whole song will crash. Another thing that contributes to the problem for the drummer, is that drummers have a habit of always playing slightly behind the beat because they are always drumming along to songs on the radio. The way out of this bad habit is to play along to songs on the radio but to stay ON the beat instead of slightly behind it. How do you know when you are on the beat? Because you won’t be able to hear the drummer on the radio when you are fucking nailing it. Then you are flying free with confidence in yourself. You may find it easier to practice this trick with a metronome or “click track” in the beginning.

It’s like in BDSM, the master gives up a certain amount of pleasure to be “in charge.”