So this morning I woke up in this house I am staying in, came downstairs and found a note from the matriarch of the house that “we” aren’t keeping the kitchen spotless enough.  At least she had the self-awareness to sign the note “neurotic person.”

I guess she gets points for that, but here is a woman with a small mansion and a monster kitchen with all the best equipment that she NEVER USES.  How insane is that?  My friends and I love to cook, and even cook for other people in the house – and then we spend a LOT of time cleaning up, only to get some dumbass note like that.

But this is what people are like – crazy to the core. Kitchens are made to be used.  Maybe I should ejaculate all over the counter-tops or something like that?

I slept for 10 hours because I feel like throwing up.  I have lots of good food around and I am not sure if I should eat or not.  The idea is to go to the beach, but I’d much rather have sex in the house pool.  Too bad there are other guests here who would not appreciate my little porn show.

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