I got embroiled in another Facebook flame-war last night on the topic of “rape culture,” and a woman posted this in response to me:

Hey Boys, add this to your perspective: http://scientopia.org/blogs/goodmath/2013/03/28/a-white-boys-observations-of-sexism-and-the-adria-richards-fiasco/ and consider his point of view when approaching these things.

And please remember that, intrinsically, as men, you don’t experience day to day sexism. You don’t get talked over, cat called, grabbed, groped, looked at, jacked off to in public. Women across the world deal with this every day. I deal with this every day- and I’m not a weak, helpless girl who doesn’t know how to be feminine. Even to my most aware guy friends, I’ve found myself explaining over and over why I don’t walk certain streets at night, go certain places by myself, or otherwise have to arm myself to feel safe.

A lot of the rape culture literature isn’t even talking about our generation, where the sexist behaviors are still under the cuff and ingrained on a more sub/unconscious level. They’re looking at the younger generation- where there is no/little sex ed in schools, parents aren’t talking to their kids, schools are over populated, and mobile tech and social media is heavily used. Where the victims(regardless of gender) are committing suicide because their peers are rejecting them and the story haunts them because they’re so enveloped in social media.

What’s interesting is this woman considers herself someone who “knows how to be feminine” yet when you look at her pictures you see that she looks like Billy Idol and has the face of a victim.  So guys aren’t harassing her because she is “hot” but rather for other reasons…

Anyway, I wanted to respond to her, but I feel my words would be wasted, so I rather share them with my audience here:

Well the trouble you see in the young generation I blame entirely on pornography.  When I grew up, pornography didn’t lower one’s respect for women, but today’s porn does because it sends the message that every woman is sexually amenable to every man regardless of merit.  Not to mention that this message is transmitted all over the internet for free and now I see people streaming it on their cell phones while they work out at the gym, or ride the train to work.  This is toxic for gender relations given the social construct we reside in.

However, the social construct we reside in is rotten to the core because it is based on repression and the commodification of lust, and a significant percentage of those who produce today’s pornography do so with the specific intent to attack said social construct.  So today’s pornography can be looked at as a virus employed by a certain type of social engineer…

Let me tell you a story to illustrate something about the nature of a woman free from certain forces of “conditioning:”

Many years ago I worked at an industry-only porn convention as a consultant and I was approached by an absolutely stunning 16 year old girl asking me to sneak her into the show.  I told her I couldn’t because I would get arrested as she was underage, but I talked to her for a while and she told me that she was from a state 2 days away by car and had lied to her parents about were she was going in order to sneak out to this convention so she could get fucked by porn stars!

Within 2 hours she had found her way into the convention, and within another 3 hours she was getting gang-banged and loving it!

This event stuck in my mind at the time because this girl was absolutely stunning, under-age, and had no desire to be a porn star… she just wanted to get gang-banged by some studs!  What did this say about the nature of female sexuality beneath the social mask, I wondered at the time?  Why was she not repressing herself in order to parlay her youth and beauty like some prostitute – the way society teaches women to do?

So it can be argued that today’s pornography is in some grossly inefficient way forcing awake some archetype of the “wild female” that had gone to sleep in the minds of men (and women).

The price of this awakening is chaos, plain and simple, and we can expect some serious birthing pains…