Home > Increase Sperm And Attract Ladies Like Magic!

August 3rd, 2011 Posted in Uncategorized

All those little sperm cells vibrating in your balls are like millions of electromagnets attracting tang for miles.  You know what sucks though? The universe always seems to throw the fish in my face when I’ve got some motherfucking place to go.  Like this morning I was late to the dentist as the Uptown #6 got derailed on 125th Street.  How the hell do they manage to derail a train when they drive them so slow these days?  In the 1980s they would drive them at like 75mph until some crackhead motorman derailed it at Union Square killing a bunch of people and nearly caving in the station.

When I lived in Greenpoint the G train was called the “guvno” train because it means “shit” in Polish.  Greenpoint, BTW, is full of Polish hotties yet less so these days as the hipsters spread from Williamsburg up into Greenpoint, establishing endless biergarden outposts along the way.

So anyway, I had to get out at 59th and walk to 73rd instead of getting out at 66th and as I’m texting my dentist about my delay, some Chinese ass in a 1-piece slut-dress comes waddling by.  You can always tell when they’ve grown up on a farm in Fujian and fucked their way to Madison Avenue because their feet and ankles have the construction of someone who didn’t know shoes until they were 15.  Not to diss, as I have a thing for Chinese girls and she was hot,  just sayin’ that their body structure gives them away – as well as their intentions.

You see, what most dumb white boys don’t realize is that some chick who escaped a farm, a factory or a brothel in Asia is only out for herself and cannot be trusted for shit. You can’t blame them, but the fact is these women are ruthless like you cannot imagine.  Now I’ve handled a few of them successfully in my day, but you’ve got to play it real slick.  As long is it is perfectly clear to her that your ONLY use is providing cock… let some other man get destroyed so she can spend the rest of her days using his money to try and fit into a pair of Hermes boots.

Nonetheless, this chick gave me the serious smile and “come talk to me” look and I am certain I could have grabbed her and plowed her like a tea field in her current “man’s” apartment somewhere on the Upper East Side, but I really had to get to my dentist.  She got real pissed at my rejection, but wtf…

But then something happened that allowed me to let my frustration  with the universe go: she opened her sun umbrella.  Jesus Christ, what is it with Chinese women and sun umbrellas?  They are all over Manhattan trying to prevent themselves from getting a sexy tan.  For the same reason they buy skin-lighteners filled with mercury and poison themselves.  Trust me, my mom has dementia from mercury toxicity and it’s a fate you don’t want to have.  Lot of people talk about chelating mercury but good luck when you actually have to get the job done.

In this image you can see Chinese women attempting to shield themselves from the semen that will rain from the heavens where I reside.

Naturally, shielding from the sun is not about preventing aging as Chinese women age very slowly and only get spots when they hit around 50.  It’s the idea that having pale skin means you don’t have to work outdoors like a peasant.  Quite the opposite view than in America, where having a tan means you don’t have to work for a living.

Anyway, when I saw that twat on Lexington Avenue open her fucking parasol, I found it very offensive.  So I let our encounter slide and went on to my appointment.



Plato Powers writes regularly about anything that involves men's sexual health and all the adventures that a homosapien male encounters in his everyday life.

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