Home > Does living in Greenpoint increase sperm count in males?

September 9th, 2011 Posted in Uncategorized

Probably not.   I used to live in Greenpoint about 10 years ago.  One of my friends still lives there, where he spends most of his time looking for squirrels to rape.  Luckily for they squirrels, most of them moved out years ago.  So my friend isn’t too happy.

There are some good things about Greenpoint, and one of those things is hot Polish girls.  Polish women are some of the most beautiful women in the world.  Sadly, most of them do not come to live in Greenpoint.  Yet some of them do, and they increase sperm count for me as I walk down the street and pick them up.

Greenpoint also has cheap Polish food, which makes you strong and places you in close proximity to hot Polish waitresses.

Here is Christina looking like she just swallowed a whole pigeon, whose business model consists of hiring hot Polish girls who keep Polish men in the construction trades spending their dinnertimes there night-after-night flirting with the girls.  I think she would do well to open a brothel.

But Greenpoint has much more to offer!  They have acid rain in the summertime, trains that never run properly, the pride of being a “two-fare zone” and tons of hipsters that have been vomited up from Williamsburg.

How times change: when I used to live on Russell Street next to a funeral home, the only fauna were drunken Polish husbands I’d have to step over in the AM to go to my corporate job.  Their drunkenness was a good thing, because otherwise I would have to listen to them force themselves on their wives for a good 2 minutes.   Sometimes there would even be a round 2!

One of the claims to fame in Greenpoint is Otom Gym:

There is also this crazy Belarussisn lady who lives on Franklin Street who rides around on one of a whole collection of bicycles while shrieking into the night about how her son never went to college, and how she is looking for a boyfriend who will buy her a house even though she is 186 years old and never brushes her teeth.  She’s a legend, like the legend of Rip Van Winkle or whomever that Sleepy Hollow guy was who rode through the night without a head.

But the best reason to go to Greenpoint is that the new ferryboat service docks there, so you can swing by the Polish shopping district and pick up Polish girls before heading into Williamsburg for some serious drinking at Berry Park.  After, you can work your way to some other bars and pick up hipster chicks before getting on the (L)oser train and heading back to the East Village where the top-end college girls cavort.  St. Marks used to be great for meeting Japanese girls, but now it is like mostly Koreans.

Well, time to go to the gym and do legs, chest and abs so the Polish girls in Greenpoint will be as attracted to me as possible.  I am growing my hair long again so people can call me Plato Conan. lol



Plato Powers writes regularly about anything that involves men's sexual health and all the adventures that a homosapien male encounters in his everyday life.

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