I was bickering with two of my buddies on Skype the other day because they’ve been reading ebooks by this guy…

…who advocates endless enemas and colonics as part of his anti-aging regimen.  He’s a raw foodist and a vegan or something like that.

I think my two friends are having a mid-life crisis or something and think that if they flush out their assholes religiously they will be able to stay young forever.

When I was young I had a series of colonics done because I needed them.  I was eating 10,000 calories a day of mostly shit.  Sweets, mixing meat with gallons of pasteurized milk.  I never chewed my food and just swallowed it down.  To top it off, I had so much anxiety my gut wasn’t working too well.

Many Americans are like this, which is why when you get a series of colonics, stuff comes out of you looking like this:

So I went and has a series done, and stuff like this came out of me.  I also changed my diet, learned to relax, and most importantly – I learned to chew my food.

Chewing your food is the simplest and best thing you can do for your digestive health.  Simply put, it means not swallowing anything solid.  Whatever you put in your mouth, you chew it until it is completely liquid before swallowing it.

This is not easy, and takes about 2 years until  you will have trained yourself to do this automatically and without conscious thought.  It also takes about that long for your salivary glands to change and secrete more and stronger saliva to speed up the process.  Until they do, you basically take a long-ass time to eat and annoy the hell out of anyone who is eating with you.

So a series of colonics is a good thing in situations like the above.  There is a dark side to colonics though, which is people become all OCD about the “feeling” of being “pure” that they abuse these things.

Bottom line is that the human colon knows how to clean itself except under the most extreme conditions (the modern American diet combined with our stressful lives).  Flushing water up there ain’t going to do a damn thing but make problems.

If you are constipated or feel a little dirty, you just need to take a product like this on a regular basis:

The final thing I want to talk about is enemas.  What a waste of time.  All an enema does it flush water into the rectum.  The thing  you want to clean is the colon.  Why is your rectum stuffed full of shit anyway?  I guess it is cool if you are constipated, or trying to deliver something directly into your bloodstream, but this idea of washing it religiously is total neurosis.

So if you want to stay young and virile, take some cum pills and chew your food slowly.  Don’t sit around flushing water up your behind.  It just makes you kina’, well… gay.  An women pick up on your gay vibes and they won’t want to give you any pussy. lol