Home > Attack of the Russian ass-eaters…

July 1st, 2012 Posted in Uncategorized

The other day I was talking with one of my friends who is an authority on the NY social scene, and he told me that the reason all these Russian gold-digger chicks are so popular with the “rich guys” around here is because Russian girls love to eat that ass.

According to him, these girls come right off the plane, go out to the clubs and side-up next to some dude who is playing idly with the keys to his Bentley.  They lean over and whisper,

“You know what I like to do in bed?”

What guy will refuse to take such a freak home for a spin?

So naturally the guys go for it, and then these ladies spend like 3 hours down there, tossing that salad – and it’s all over!

Apparently after getting your salad tossed for 3 hours straight, a man falls in love and looses all sense.  Next thing he knows, he be buying that bitch a ton of jewelry.  Allegedly, you can tell if a Russian girl is an ass-eater just from looking at the jewelry she’s wearing: if it is ostentatious, you know she eats that ass!

I had no idea about any of this, even though I have fucked a few Russian broads in my life, and most of them were gorgeous — and only slept with me because they were under the mistaken impression that I had money.  However, despite their misjudgment, none of them ate my ass… although my last Russian was a couple years ago so I suppose it wasn’t in fashion at the time…

I certainly enjoy getting my salad tossed, but not so much that I would buy a girl jewelry in exchange for it.  Then again, I don’t buy girls anything except for the occasional sex toy or puff pastry.  Anyway, my point is that I find it a little shocking that guys place so much value on this bedroom activity.  There must be a huge psychological component to it, because it isn’t that pleasurable.  I imagine it’s all about submission, and these guys figure if some beautiful broad is polishing their bunghole with her tongue, it must mean something?

It really doesn’t.

If you knew some rich woman would buy you a Ferrari if you ate her ass, wouldn’t you do it?  Fuck, if she has a beautiful ass I’ll do it for free. LOL!  I think it was John Stagliano who once shot a scene where a male performer was reciting poetry to the asshole of one of his “Buttwomen.”  I can relate…

Anyway, apparently my friend had over-heard one Russian babushka talking to another and one of them said to the other: “Did you see the jewelry on that bliadz? You don’t get that kinda’ jewelry ’cause you kiss so well!”

So armed with this new information, my friend and I have this new gag where we see some girl (doesn’t have to be a Russian girl) who looks like a gold-digger wearing a shit-ton of jewelry and as she walks on by we casually remark:

“You know she eats that ass!”

Another great line is to look upon some jewelry in a shop window or around a woman’s neck and exclaim:

“That’s some ass-eater jewelry right there!”

So there you have it folks… ass-eating is the new swallowing! ROTFL


Plato Powers writes regularly about anything that involves men's sexual health and all the adventures that a homosapien male encounters in his everyday life.

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