I was taking a quiz the other day that asked just how much did I know about my sexual organs and what they do. I thought I knew it all about my junk. What man doesn't pride himself on his package, and his knowledge thereof? But then i started seeing words like jasm sperm count motility smegma. I wondered if this was a different fucking language! Was I really this uninformed about my reproductive organs? What the fuck is sperm count motility anyways? I decided that I didn't want to be some ignorant fuck who has no clue what the fuck is going on behind his zipper. I set out to educate myself on the finer points of my cock and balls, and everything inside and in between.

I started out by checking out exactly what smegma was. The name intrigued me, I guess. It turns out that smegma is a buildup of dried dickjuice and bacteria that forms under your foreskin and has to be cleaned off so your dick won't smell like rotting shit and a girl might actually want to blow you every now and then. Fortunately, I didn't have to worry about any disgusting fucking smegma shit because I'm circumsized, like every civilized man should be. An uncircumsized dick is the ugliest fucking thing you will ever see. It looks like a snake is trying to eat a smaller snake. Uncircumsized dicks make me puke! Reading about smegma makes me want to puke! Writing about reading about smegma and recalling it in my mind REALLY makes me want to fucking puke! No smegma for me, thanks!

After the smegma incident, I decided to check out exactly what jasm was. It turns out jasm is just another name for come. I should have known. It sounds sort of like jism, which is yet another name for come. There sure are a whole fuck of a lot of names for come, isn't there? You got jasm, jism, jizz, semen, come, baby batter, dick juice, cock snot, shaft syrup, scrotal soda, Dong Cola, kid concentrate, dick dew, prick paint, tadpole tonic, pecker putting, nut butter, Elmers, spunk, and so on and so forth. I think every time someone finds a new name for come, an angel gets its wings.

After that ordeal, I decided to see what sperm count motility was. It turns out I was reading it wrong. Sperm count and motility are two different things. Sperm count is just a number that tells how many sperm you got floating around in your nutsack at any given time. Motility is the name given for how well your sperm can swim from your nutsack into a girl's ovaries, or if not the ovaries, maybe a tissue, or the shower drain, or a computer screen, or your grandfather's chin hair, if you're really into some sick shit. So I guess I misread sperm count motility as something else.

As I was looking at all this random dick and ball shit, I stumbled upon a website called moneyshotpills.com. I wondered what the fuck MoneyShot was, and it turns out that they are pills that make you come more. I was curious, because I always wanted to come like the porn stars do, and since I was educating myself so well on ball stuff, I figured I'd treat myself to a bottle of these pills. I figured why the fuck not? It comes with a guarantee. I recieved my shipment, popped some pills, and started beating my dick. I didn't think these pills would actually work, but buddy I was mistaken. I shot out so much come that I feared a liquified ball may have come out of my dick hole. Who knew that just a simple web search on smegma would end up with me finding a product I still use to this very day in order to achieve the pinnacle of cum spraying glee?